Hospitality: A Neighboring Practice in Epiphany.

Each Epiphany, Christians all over the world remember the journey of the Magi and the gifts they presented to the infant Jesus. Caspar, Melchior, and Balthazar are for us a reminder that hospitality, and the gracious provision for our neighbor, is an act of service we own one another. In fact, many of us chalk the doorway into our churches or homes with the year and the initials for each of the wise sages; 20+C+M+B+23. This simple practice is intended to offer blessings for any who may pass through the door, and to set our intention to offer hospitality throughout the coming year.

This practice of chalking the door got me thinking this morning about our homes and our neighboring practice in the community. Often, I find myself talking about my home as a refuge and retreat from the rest of my busy life. It’s where I go to rest, to turn off my work brain, and to take off whatever professional or public face I’ve been holding for the hours of each day. And yes, I invite my friends and family to join me in my home from time to time, on holidays or for intentional get-togethers. But I am realizing that over the years, I have not often invited my neighbors, the folks who live nearest me, to spend time in my home.

One of the symptoms of our hyper-individualized culture is that we’ve lost some of the regular connectivity and relationship in our neighborhoods. This is especially challenged in the suburbs and ex-urban communities, where driving is essential and where backyard decks and patios have largely replaced the front porches. It’s increasingly easy to live our entire lives in a place and barely get to know any of our neighbors.

I find that I often relegate the offering of my hospitality to public spaces, outdoor events, or church. I’m less intentional about inviting folks into my home, firstly out of habit, and maybe secondarily out of fear they may see what a mess I can make. This has been compounded even further by the COVID-19 pandemic, and the totally appropriate need for caution.

A friend of mine told me recently about a beautiful practice his parents kept for many years. He said that every Sunday, for most of their adult lives, his parents would invite someone from the neighborhood or church to join them for afternoon supper. This meant that they were always keeping an eye out for neighbors they didn’t know, or folks they hadn’t connected with in some time. It meant that they were sure to have something simple to offer someone to eat and drink. And it meant that they were always in conversation with the folks who lived nearest them in the community. They made their dining room and their home, a tool for hospitality and community building.

As we chalk the doors in Epiphany, and reflect on the hospitality of the Magi, I’m curious about how we think of our homes as tools for hospitality and neighborliness. Can we see our houses, apartments, or condos not just as spaces of refuge, but as spaces for welcoming the neighbor? As the pandemic slows, and a new year begins, can we reclaim the neighboring practice of welcoming one another into our homes, providing and receiving hospitality as a way of knitting our community more tightly together?

As I write this, my wife and I are in the middle of a large kitchen remodel. Our house is well over 100 years old, and this upgrade has been desperately needed for some time. But, as the walls go up and we begin to near the end of the project, we will be thinking about how this kitchen remodel can serve as a spark to practice greater hospitality in our neighborhood. This kitchen will not just be for us, but for our neighbors, and God-willing, will help us to deepen our relationships with the people God has called us to live among in this part of our city. May this New Year provide you also with the opportunity to give and receive hospitality among your own neighbors and community members and may the chalk above your door bless all who enter your home. Amen.

• Do you often invite neighbors into your home for visits and hospitality? Have you often been invited into your neighbors’ homes?
• How might our homes become an extension of the church’s hospitality in a community?

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Originally published at https://nicholastangen.com on January 9, 2023.