Why your congregation should have more meals together.

Again and again in the work of the church, I find that it is the unremarkable things, the simple things, that lay the groundwork for the remarkable things. We underestimate informal conversation, the ministry of presence, and the space for silence and prayer. And we underestimate the impact of sharing a meal with one another and with our neighbors. But I think our congregations should have a lot more meals together in 2023 as a part of our neighboring practice.

First and foremost, let’s acknowledge that table fellowship is a particularly powerful charism in the life of the Christian church. We gather each Sunday around the table to remember and receive the body and blood of Jesus, and so many of the Gospel stories are grounded in a practice of hospitality and shared meals. Think of the wedding at Cana, the anointing of Jesus’ feet at Bethany, the feeding of the five thousand, the road to Emmaus, and as we noted, the Last Supper. We are a people formed and connected to God at the table.

Additionally, the practice of sharing meals with others can contribute to our sense of wellbeing and health. Shared meals tend to encourage healthier food choices, mindful eating, and overall nutrition. They provide space and connection for folks who have limited access to community connections and may be feeling isolated. And they can serve as incredible tools for intercultural learning and sharing gifts and strengths of community members.

So much of the work for community building in a neighborhood and a congregation is about building trust, sharing experiences, and making space to get genuinely curious about other people. And, as of yet, I have not encountered a better practice for getting at these experiences than getting folks around a table for a meal.

This past summer, I visited a community meal hosted by a Lutheran church in the Twin Cities. The congregation had been hosting meals to go for several months, but this was one of the first times that neighbors and congregation members were invited to sit and eat together. I sat across from a woman who lived near the church and struck up a conversation. She told me that she looked forward to the meals and appreciated being able to sit down and eat with others because she didn’t have many opportunities to do so during the week.

Eventually, I’m not sure how, we got to talking about hunting and the places where our families liked to visit. She told me about her husband who passed away the previous year — how he loved to hunt and taught her children how to hunt. She told me that her son had died a few years ago in a car accident, and that she was still learning how to live with the grief of these losses. We spoke for nearly an hour and a half, and when we had finished our dessert, she asked if we could pray together. And so we did.

Sitting together, sharing a meal, and leaning into curiosity created space for depth and connection that we would have otherwise missed. We left the table knowing one another and comforted by the realization that we were known, and seen, and heard.

The more time and food and vulnerability we share, the more trust we build, the more depth we form, and this lays the foundation for a community that claims responsibility for one another and the common good. In the sharing of a meal, we become a community — we are given the opportunity to realize that we belong to one another. And it begins by inviting someone to sit down and have something to eat.

Questions to consider

• Does your congregation or community have any traditions that include a shared meal? How have these traditions changed over the years? How might you encourage a renewed sense of curiosity and intention to these traditions?
• What opportunities exist for your faith community to join or invite neighbors for a shared meal? Could you expand the invitation to your community’s traditional gatherings? Are there community meals scheduled in your neighborhood?
• What if you invited just one neighbor to share a meal in your home? Who might you invite? Which of your neighbors have you wanted to connect with most? Which neighbor have you connected with the least?

Photo by Streets of Food on Unsplash

Originally published at https://nicholastangen.com on December 21, 2022.